Tired

Just when you think everything will be okay and solid life throws you a curve ball. Which is fine, curveballs are expected in life. But, see, I thought I already hit rock bottom and got passed it. I am tired of feeling like I am so independent and I can hold my own, but then getting chewed up and spit out by the world.

I am at rock bottom. There’s one car between the two of us, two part time jobs with rent to pay. We are BARELY keeping our heads above water. I CAN’T GET A FULL TIME JOB! Neither can he. This is a very stressful time. I am tired of feeling like I want to go back and re do everything. I’ve messed up and I know I have, but come on. Why am I still being punished.

I am tired of wondering when everything will be okay. I hate living on edge wondering if we are gonna make it this month. I just want to be stable for once in my life. I feel like I am asking for too much or something. Nothing is okay right now, nothing. I wish I could just magically make everything great. But, it’s a dog eat dog world, and right now I am breakfast.

I just wish things would change. But that’s wishful thinking.

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