Lifestyle change

I am currently going through a lifestyle change. No, not a diet but I am changing the way I live. Down from my food, to my organization. Mainly my food though because I need to get healthy. I am not the smallest person in the world, not the biggest either. However, I am not used to not eating whenever I want.

It’s hard.

So, hard. I think it’s the worst when, my stomach is growling and I have to ignore it because I already ate for and can’t eat again until dinner, or lunch. It’s tough but I know that I will get through it. With the right amount of dedication and exercise, I’ll be well on my way!

I’m pretty excited for the new me. It’s not scary, but exciting. Being able to say I did it is what I can’t wait for. I have struggled with my weight for so long. up and down and up and down, I finally want it to be down, and down for good.  I want to live to be 75 at least I don’t want to die at 50 because of poor health.

That’s why getting it under control at the age of 21, is perfect! Something that needs to happen. So excited to embark on this journey and I know I won’t be alone.

DISNEY

I have been wanting to go to Disneyland for like the past three years almost. Let me tell you I am so excited to say that I will be soaking up that California while riding some roaming the streets of Disney and California adventures! I AM SO EXCITED! I literally can’t even wait and wish it was right now!! I just got to remind myself that it is only 15 ish days away!

SO excited for a much needed vacation at the happiest place on earth!!!

If you have been to Disney, what is your favorite ride!? My favorite is splash mountain! OR pirates OR Indiana… ugh can’t choose!!

I also want to know what is your dream vacation?! Mine would be this!

Baffled

I really can’t tell you how baffled I am right now. If you are in an abusive relationship, and you got the strength and courage to get up and get you and your beautiful children out of that horrible situation and you became stronger why let all that go and go straight back? Hello!!! He isn’t going to change. If he has been doing this for 13 years, 13 more years is nothing to this guy.

I’m disappointed because I thought the people that get up and move on were the strongest. I guess not. See now as I am writing this, I get pulled into another direction. I get pulled into trying her shoes on and taking a little walk in them… But, I can’t seem to find the greatness or what I am missing here. I could never and would never do that. I have more self respect and self value.

I am not saying she lacks these things, I just don’t think she knows how valuable she is. I don’t think anyone has ever made her feel what she is. She is a diamond and she is beautiful and she deserves to be treated as such. If I hear an abusive story I don’t know if I’ll be able to fight back from saying something.

If you or a loved one is in a abusive relationship, please speak out. A lot of the time it goes unheard, and I can’t stand that.

Adulting

growing-up.png

Growing up has not been as easy as it looks. I can say however I think I have been getting the hang of it recently. I’ve learned being an adult isn’t just about knowing how to balance check books, how to do taxes, or even knowing how to be an adult. Being an adult also means you can make your own decisions. So if you want to go out and get wasted a couple hours before work, you can! Does that mean it’s right? Ehh, not really.

I’ve actually been learning a lot from others recently. What to do and maybe what not to do as well. I thrive off of criticism and  advice. Honestly I do! I like to know what people think I am doing wrong and I like to be able to fix mistakes. I can tell you i am not much of a partier, i do like to drink. But, not all the time. I have stricked rules. One of the biggest is no drinking on a night before work. That’s the responsible thing to do, right?

I will never understand how people do it! People can drink and go to work the next day like it never happened! wtf? how?! lol. anyways. I don’t really know where this post is exactly going, i just wanted to give a piece of my mind about “adulting.” For 21 i think i am doing pretty OK. 🙂

June 3, 2012

I have a story to share with everyone about me and my current boyfriend, Vince. This is a true story. A couple years I wrote a paper about it for school.

May 24, 2012 was the night of my high school graduation and the night that everything would change, as it would for most people. It was probably one of the most accomplished nights of my life seeing as though I struggled through my whole high school and middle school career. I was so happy to be spending that night with my class of 87 peers as well as my family and boyfriend, who was in my graduating class as well. Graduation night was definitely a night to remember with all the games, celebrations, laughter and fun times that I was able to share with so many different people. Going to school in a small town makes it easy to enjoy the times you have with such a close class because of how small we are and I wouldn’t trade attending there for anything.

As most parents do, mine threw a graduation party here in town on June 2, 2012 for all my family and friends to be able to celebrate such a great accomplishment. There weren’t many people from the small town that would drive all the way down to my hometown for a party except for my boyfriend Vine. He drove the forty-five minute drive to come celebrate for both of us! There was great food, dancing, gifts, and laughter that I won’t forget. As the party came to an end at about midnight, it was time to say goodbye to everyone at the party including my boyfriend, Vince. He would now venture back on that forty-five minute drive home

Right before Vince left he told me that his phone was going to die and that he would call me as soon as he got home. On his drive home I decided that I’d call him to make sure he was making good progress, and he was. He finally reached his destination and decided he was going to go pick up his two little brothers, Chuck  who was thirteen and Louie who was eleven, from another graduation party. He got to his destination and had texted me telling me that he was going to have a few friends stay the night. They made their way back to Vince’s house with Chuck and Vince in one car, and Louie and Vince’s friends in another. It was about two in the morning and I was texting Vince to make sure that he was okay and got home safely, but got no response. I assumed that his phone had died and that I should just go to bed and I’ll have a text for me in the morning.

The next morning it was about ten a.m. and my dad came in to make sure I was awake. Immediately I went to check my phone to read the text that I was so anxiously waiting for the night before. I pressed my lock button and saw 20 different texts from different people, but not a single one from Vince. I looked at my dad and immediately I said “Something isn’t right.” I explained why to my dad and he told me not to assume and to check a text message from another person.

I opened a text from a good friend and it read “Is it true?” Confused to what she was talking about I proceeded to open another text message from another good friend that said“Are you going?” Still confused I decided I’d call her to find out where I should be “going”. She answered the phone and I said “What’s going on?”

She said “Vince and Chuck have been in an accident.”

I said “This is a joke right? Is Vince okay?”

She replied “Vince is okay. Chuck isn’t.”

I asked her “What happened with Chuck?”

Her response was shocking as she said “He didn’t make it.”

My whole world seemed to be crashing down around me as I hung up from that conversation. Going from just a great couple days to horrible one in a blink of an eye was devastating. I proceeded to find out which hospital Vince was in so I could make the drive and see him and be there for him. Finding out that he was in Phoenix at the Maricopa Medical Center my dad hooked up a GPS and I was off to meet a few friends to carpool to go to Phoenix. After about an hour and a half drive we made it safe and sound.

We walked up to Vince’s hospital room and I immediately went over and hugged him. I never thought in a million years that I would be visiting my boyfriend in the hospital. I never imagined that he would lose his brother so sudden and tragically. That’s the thing, we go through life thinking we are invincible and nothing can ever happen to us. Not realizing that the world is a huge place and anything can happen

From this accident my boyfriend and I are forever changed. I’ve walked away with really appreciating what life gives you and not taking anything for granted. Vince has walked away with knowing to cherish his loved ones more than ever. He has become stronger than he’s ever been mentally and physically. He now shares closeness with his family he didn’t have before. I live by a saying and truly think it is true; “Everything happens for a reason”. Even if that reason is unknown, there has to be one and it will be found out one day.

Now each day that passes by I look at everything in a different way. Nothing is the same for either of us. We take everything in the palm of our hands and hold it as gracefully as we can, not letting anything slip away. Each moment is a precious one and deserves to be treated as such. Vince doesn’t let his family stray too far from his side. I also keep my family and friends close to me. Live each day as your last and never let a moment go away without treasuring it.